Tuesday, July 8, 2014

What is love !!?

                                                  The path ahead flickers..
                                                  The light goes low...
                                                  Shallow breathe and my body shivers..
                                                  As I lay on the snow...

                                                  Today is the day, the day you said no
                                                  Stabbed my heart with an ice cold knife
                                                  " I never felt that way, please let go"
                                                  How can I ? How can I let go of my life?

                                                  How do I tell you..
                                                  Tell you how much you mean?
                                                  How do I tell you..
                                                  That for my heart you are the queen?

                                                  Your smile washes away my sorrows
                                                  Your scent reminds me of a beautiful dream
                                                  Be with me, and beautiful will be our tomorrow
                                                  Without you I am falling into the loneliest regime

Maggie made it to the train just in time. Oh what a day it was! Her alarm refused to wake her up; then when she finally woke up an hour late she successfully managed to create a mini water fountain in her apartment, thanks to the clogged drain during her shower. To top it all, she gets a text from Mohit in the very last moment saying he can no longer drop her off at the station due to a flat tyre. She highly doubted Mohit's excuse. Knowing him, he probably just bumped into a random hot girl and was busy trying to impress her.

Maggie made her way through the compartments looking for a place to sit. Finally she found a nearly empty compartment with a guy sitting in one of the corners. He seemed to be deeply engrossed in a book. Maggie dumped her luggage into one of the seats and made herself comfortable. The guy was totally lost in the book. He never even looked up.

                                " Hi, I am Maggie " she greeted the guy.That is the thing about Maggie. She cannot sit quietly for more than a minute. He finally looked up from the book. He is a handsome guy, with sharp features.

                               " Hi" he replied back. " I am Alex". He gave a small smile that went all the way up to his eyes. It was a beautiful smile. Maggie silently thanked God.

                              " So going to New York?" asked Maggie. Sitting on a train heading towards New York, it would have been surprising if he had other options.

                               " Of course" he replied.  " I presume you are going there too" he added with a hint of mischief in his tone.

                               " Yes" replied a slightly flustered Maggie. " Is the book interesting?" she asked pointing towards the book he was reading , trying to change the topic.

                               " This is something I wrote actually. It is not a book, more like a journal." he replied.  " What is it about?" asked Maggie, trying to sound interested. She always thought writers were boring, however if the writer is as handsome as Alex; she can make an exception.

                               " That is difficult to say " he replied after a pause. " It is about a girl, a very special girl. Infact I am going to New York to meet her." Maggie's heart sank. Her bad luck seems to have not left her.
                              " Girl friend?" she asked, desperately hoping for the answer to be a no.

                              " I wish" he chuckled. " I love her , she doesn't" he added casually. She must be out of her mind thought Maggie. Which girl can ever say no to such a handsome guy!

                              " So you told her that you love her?" asked Maggie.

                              "Yes, almost an year back. She said no. She said she never felt that way towards me" though he tried to sound casual , his eyes gave away his sadness.

                              " You are going to do it again today?" Maggie asked. Something told her that she already know the answer. He gave her a shy smile. Maggie never understood why people always stick with things that hurt them ? Why can't they get rid of them and keep life simple and painless?

                            " What makes you think she will say yes this time?" the words came out even before she could stop herself. "Sorry I did not mean to sound rude."

                           Alex smiled. "Maggie if you want something, really want it, want it with all your heart and soul, try how much ever hard you can, you cannot give up on it. Only few things in life are worth fighting for" He pulled a photo from his wallet. "This was me a year ago". Staring from the photo was a smiling fat guy. This cannot be Alex. No way!

                          Alex laughed looking at the disbelief on Maggie's face." Yeah, lost around 50 pounds, built some muscle and all the good stuff" he said.

                          " So becoming fit is your way of fighting for her?" asked Maggie. The sarcasm in her tone is not lost on Alex.

                          " This made me confident. Becoming confident is bettering myself. Bettering myself is my way of fighting for her." he said simply. "The first time she said no,  I just couldn't take it. I was not able to talk to anyone for a while. Then I started thinking, started understanding. I have my reasons to love her. She probably never saw any reasons to love me. From that day I decided, to become someone better, someone who can show her reasons to love him. I decided to make myself worthy of her".

                        Maggie is confused " Isn't love all about being accepted for who you are? At least isn't that what is shown in all the romantic movies?"

                        " You are right in a way. I definitely cannot change completely.  I cannot change my tastes, my values, my core roots. Even if i try to change them , change will only last momentarily. However I can change in terms of thinking, personality and attitude towards life." his voice was low and it seemed like he was talking more to himself. "After she said no, I started introspecting into myself. I realized I was fickle minded, I was not confident, my life depended on others decision, I used to give up easily and worst , I never realized these things about me till that day. I struggled, I felt pain but now I am changed for good. ".

                       " It must have been difficult? Wasn't it ?" Maggie asked.

                       " Difficult!!" laughed Alex. " Difficult is an understatement. Testing myself every moment, ripping myself off to understand the inner me, extending my limits at every opportunity; yes Maggie it was difficult. But it was worth every bit of struggle. Though I started this whole thing for her,  at the end I realized I was doing myself a favor. The change in me  reflected in all walks of my life. Now I am more confident  and I know what I want from life . Over the past year , I got two promotions in work. Having wanting love so desperately, I was able to understand  and appreciate the love of family and friends. Today I have a set of people in my life whom I can always rely on, something which I never before had. I started loving myself like never before. "

                        Maggie listened intently. She had never seen someone who made the worst of life to the best of their advantage. Maybe this is what leaders are made of she thought.

                      " What if she says no today?" she asked in a low voice.

                       Alex did not reply. " I do not want to think about it" he replied after a long pause. " Every rejection is a reason to better myself I guess".

                       Maggie smiled. " One day, I hope I can find such love" she said.

                                                " Or one day, you can become someone's such love" said Alex with a sly smile.

The train reached the station....
                                                  Your tears I can see
                                                  Your pain I can feel
                                                  You say you love me
                                                  But how do I know it is real?

                                                  For all I know, this is pure plain lust
                                                  Today you say love, today you talk sweet
                                                  I am not trying to be mean, nor being unjust
                                                  But telling me how much you love, does not make love complete..

                                                  Cause it is not something to tell, but more to show
                                                  Show that you can change, show that you can reach higher 
                                                  If I am the Juliet, try be my romeo
                                                  Make yourself someone, someone I desire